Surreal

I was sorting through some cd's and cassette tapes, getting them ready for the goodwill and came across a cassette titled "Karl's Song".  Well I knew exactly what this was.  My Navy Storekeeper boyfriend, for a whole 3 weeks I think, came up with some music to pair with a poem I'd written.  Play me a Color.  Sappy.  Anyway, I recorded it.  He said his full name and where he was from on the tape.  Racine, Wisconsin.

What is surreal about this is that a month later I discovered I was pregnant with his child.  I found this out after he had been sent to California and I was in Wales, UK.  I had received one letter from him.  This a love story did not make.  I was 18, had just begun my Navy adventure and knew exactly what I was going to do.  There was no hesitation.

Funny thing was, I was already dating someone new.  He was extremly Catholic and not at all happy with my decision.  You know what, I told him, he had no say in the matter and I was appalled that he thought he did.

I often wonder where my gumption came from.  How was I so sure about the decisions I made at 18 and yet by 19, I was no longer sure?

I was rather independent and very strong in my convictions.  I kind of liked that girl.

My daughter and I were discusing the Meyers/Briggs personality traits.  I found out she is an introvert.  Really?  How'd that happen.  I'm an extrovert but I realize that I actually often have an internal fight between my extrovert self and my introvert self.  I was very shy as a child.  Then my mother married my step dad and he was very much an extrovert.  I think I became one too because of his example.

Oh and I now live about 3 hours from Karl's hometown.

Deep surreal thoughts.