Sand in My Shoes

Dido sings a little ditty called sand in my shoes. In short, it's about a vacation to the beach and the boy she met there how it's hard to return to reality. I feel the sand in my shoes. I returned to work today from a one week talk fest with a very good girlfriend from long ago. We discussed everything under the sun. Her path and mine have been quite different. Me married three times. The first at 19, divorce at 22, married again at 24, divorced at 31 and married again at 32. She married once at 30. Me, three children a girl at 24, a boy at 25 and another son at 38. She, no children. And yet, we connect. I tried to explain why I stay where I am if I'm not happy. 22 years is a long time. Without lauding it over her, I explain that she can't understand why. Not a defect it's just she is not able to comprehend. I love him. I put up with his idiosyncricies as he puts up with mine. She said we aren't entwined like the church and the steeple and yet we walk along side each other. And that's the secret. I could survive emotionally with out him. Financially no, but I don't NEED him. I think he NEEDS me more and yet, I think he'd be fine without me. He'd find his way eventually. And yet, I do envy her. Does she realize how much? How much I miss the quiet in her home, her garden, her independence? I tried to convey these to her. She is searching for a mate. I think a friend with benefits would be more her speed. And so, I will relish the moments that I find sand in my shoes as I unpack. And continue on with my life.